I don’t think I am the only one, but has the fear of failing ever held you back from starting a project, pursuing your dreams or even starting your fitness journey?

I believe the fear of failing has and is still the destroyer of most of my dreams.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”– Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

A perfect example of how I believe it’s the fear of failing that holds me back is when I wanted to pursue writing.

I remember the night I decided to start the blogging journey, I was just feeling like I really could achieve something great and I felt like I had a story to tell. I started researching how to start a blog, I started reading some blogs online just to get a feel of what was out there.

I was super excited and all I could see were unending possibilities.

After the excitement of new beginnings and possibilities had worn off  my thoughts did what they did best, they started to wonder and the fear factor kicked in. I was like a huge rock had rolled over my dreams and crushed them to dust.

I started thinking of the many reasons why this was not going to work..

” I am not smart enough”

“I have zero talent, let alone in writing”

“I have tried and failed miserably in the past”

Self doubt, loss of confidence then welcomed themselves to the scene and all I could do was to shelf the idea until next time.

This is just one of the many examples that tend to happen constantly, I am sure I am not the only one who goes through this.

What is Fear/Failure?

Firstly I would like to define fear as False Evidence Appearing Real

Fear is the emotion of pain or uneasiness caused by the sense of impending danger, or by the prospect of some possible evil.– Oxford dictionary

I understand that fear is an illusion, it’s a fabrication in our own minds that appears real.

Failure in simplicity is defined as the lack of success.

Now that we have defined both fear and failure, how does one overcome this emotion that holds you back from succeeding and achieving something great?

What caused the fear of Failure?

Like everything, fear of failure has a beginning, you need to ascertain when your fear of failure was formed.

For most people it started at a tender age.

In my case I think I began to have these feelings of self doubt and fear of failure in my childhood. I never had anyone believe in me which caused me to lack confidence in many things. I remember when I was in primary school and we had swimming lessons, I always intentionally misplaced or left my swimming kit at home because I never had the confidence that if I applied myself to this I might have been good at it. To protect myself I decided not to even try.

Overcoming the fear of failure.

1. Stop Procrastinating

Research has shown that there is a connection between the fear of failure and procrastination.

Do you sometimes feel like you procrastinate all the time?

You avoid the important tasks by doing something else of less importance?

Well that’s me and more.

I read a book called Eat the Frog by Brian Tracy, where he shares extensively on how to overcome this enemy called procrastination in 21 seemingly easy steps.

The most important step I got from that book is just do it.

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”

–Dale Carnegie

• Think Positively.

Positive thinking is a great way to build your self confidence and stop you from breeding fear. This is not always easy but I think you have to make a conscious effort to think positively.

If you want to change your life you have to change your thoughts. The best way to do this is to read positive books and articles, affirmations and surround yourself with people that are positive.

• Set specific goals

Write the vision. Personally this is the most difficult for me as I feel so uncomfortable putting my dreams and visions on paper because if I fail there will be a paper trail to hold me accountable.

I do understand the importance of setting goals as they help us define where we want to go in life.

I have started setting small goals daily to help boost my self confidence. If you feel you are in the same boat as me, start setting goals as small as reading one chapter a day. Small wins are important.

My journey of self growth and development has led me to the understanding that life is full of choices, you can choose to live in fear and you can also choose not to.  I choose to improve on myself and work on me.