I would start with a question.

How do you forgive someone who didn’t acknowledge the hurt and the pain they put you through?!

How do you move on from the past and act like everything is ok, even though you have the scars to prove it’s not OK?!

‘Forgiveness is easier said than done’

From my understanding it takes work and a conscious effort for one to actually let go!!

Forgiveness

I will give you a back story

My mother moved to the UK in search of greener pastures and with hopes of giving me  a brighter future.

Because she left, the responsibility of raising me was left on family members “who did not care for me at all”

This particular family I was living with was my uncle, his wife and 2 children

To them I was just their passport to free money  without putting any efforts in raising me at all

I was physically and mentally abused on a daily basis

My education suffered a great deal.  I was falling behind from my peers and struggling to cope with the pressures at home, which reflected in my grades.

I started to think I was not smart at all and I  constantly felt like a complete failure.

I lost all my confidence and I suffered with low self esteem

The effects of the abuse still affect me at times.

I grew to resent the people I called family, as I constantly thought how my life might have been better if those events in my life never happened.

After years it dawned to me that their life is moving on as if nothing has happened, and I was stuck in this empty black hole of what ifs and blaming myself for the pain I had been through

 ” Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies“

– Nelson Mandela

I came to a moment of realisation that Forgiveness helps me and not the oppressor

I consciously took steps in order for me to heal and let go of all the hurt

It wasn’t easy but it was a decision that I made and I had to see through.

The first step I took was Acceptance

I had to accept that I can not change the past, no matter how hard I would like to.

I chose to live in the Present “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

– Luke Carrangis

When we apply this statement to our lives, we release ourselves from our past and the people  who have hurt us.

And lastly I chose to  Let Go

I chose to let go of the hurt..

To let  go of the disappointments..

To let go of the anger and resentment

This was the hardest stage for me as I thought I deserved to hold on to my pain and hurt..

I felt I deserved to feel like a victim, to feel like the world owed me for all the suffering I went through as a teenage girl.

In allowing myself to Let go I found me

I found happiness and peace

I am still growing and realising that I was holding myself back from BEING ME.

 “In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself

Freedom is Letting go“

– Deepak Chopra

I am still learning that Forgiveness is a Journey that’s worth taking for yourself….

Forgiveness is the greatest gift you can give yourself.

---